suddenly i feel mellow again and again. in fact, i had very good rehearsal with my beloved teammate FAVOURIXE DANCERS the mentors this morning. after that i was laughing when i was called by somebody. hihi :D
don't know why. he has disturbed my mind. he has always come and gone as he wants. never think that i am here, waiting for him, waiting for some ways i hope i could have.
i feel useless. all things useless. 3 years waiting, just shitty things i've ever done. now, i get to bite my fingers. *confused*
never know what he feels. never know what he wants. he told me to make thousand stars for him. and now, i'm doing the process to make em. actually i knew what he wanted from those stars. he wanted her. he wanted to make a wish. and that wish is just to be with her again. yeah, forever, there will no place to remember his first love anymore, there is no me or maybe i'm not his first love for sure..
but, i'm learning one thing. love is made by my own self. and will be stopped by me too. so, if i stop my feeling, i'm sure i can leave all memories things inside.
sorry, i just don't wanna do that. i want to love him. no matter how long.