before i have to move from Jakarta

everyone is looking for the best and try to be the best. but without love, all that was just sheer ambition.
* jee-jessh

31 January 2010

it feels HOPE :)

i'm tired !

that's why it's better smile than cry. cause i'm tired. tired of sadness. tired of rambling. tired of all!
but when i'm writing this one. i know and really really understand what these are. i feel some hopes. hope for grow, hope for happiness, hope for successful and hope for love.
again and again it's happened. what is it? LOST. yeaah LOST.

one by one, from time to time, God takes HIS children. us. but why does HE take my family too often? too fast? or maybe too many?!

i still can't realize what i heard this morning. my auntie has gone. i don't know where she is right now. but i hope, she is in heaven. far far away from here, but i believe she is fine there. i can imagine how she smiles, how she laughs, and how she gives her warm hug for me with pray :)

i couldn't stand when i see my mother's crying loudly. i hugged her. i hoped she would better than before. but i know she felt depressed. she lost her lovely sister. lovely lovely lovely i think.
when i remember last month we were together. we laughed. we smiled. we sang together. we had dinner time. and i still can't believe, when the doctor said she was okay even i know that were problems with her heart. and she ever got heart-attack. that was why my uncle picked her up to jakarta.

oh no! it was just last month and now, i hear she passed away? she left me? left us? left everybody which love her so much?
i miss you for sure sister agnes. my auntie was a nun and has already become a sister. she was abbes. and we all family are too much proud of her. she was kind and loveable. SO LOVEABLE!

she ever said to me;
GOD will give you hope if you are still hoping for HIM :)
and i give improvisation for that sentence and being my motto till this day;
GOD gives a hope for those who believe in HIM :)

thanks sister agnes, i will always remember that one. i love you. i mean i love you SO MUCH :)


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